Barnyard Gas

Barnyard Gas

Barnyard Gas

THE POETRY OF FART LOGIC books (Barnyard Gas, “CS” [TOXIC] GAS, Elevator Gas, High Octane Gas, Laughing Gas, Legal Gas, Natural Gas, Nerve Gas, Conflatulations to You, Bachelor oFarts, Breaking Wind, Brain Farts, and The Best Of Fart Logic Volumes I, II, and III) are the result of many years of practicing “ Psycho Fartology.” Dr. Wolfgang (German for the Latin Canis Lupis) has skillfully harnessed this science to produce these quirky, outrageously ridiculous passports for good mental health. They are guaranteed to be a cure for boredom, for killing time, and for expressing a thought not otherwise kosher or ethical.

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Renew Your Memory with Chewing Gum

A Sample Poem from THE POETRY OF FART LOGIC Book, “BARNYARD GAS” by Dr. Wolfgang…

Over many years of extensive continued use
The brain loses its cells like tires lose air
It only makes sense that to stop this abuse
Brain cells must be replaced by personal care

The body’s pump that help replace lost cells
Is the mouth, with its constant up and down motion
It’s also the organ where trouble dwells
Especially when non-use lead to mental erosion

Multi-flavored gums are therefore the tool
That mandate pumping the mouth that inactive be
The success of the pump one see in the drool
It’s how one brain cell replacements see

One arrest brain cell loss with chewing gum
But it must be started while one can still chew
For if one lose one’s teeth, one with chewing be done
And without chewing, one’s cells won’t renew

For best results one must chew an hour per day
Preferably with many different sticks of gum
And with bubbles blow the old dead cells away
It’s how with memory loss one be done.