Brain Farts

Brain Farts

Brain Farts

THE POETRY OF FART LOGIC books (Barnyard Gas, “CS” [TOXIC] GAS, Elevator Gas, High Octane Gas, Laughing Gas, Legal Gas, Natural Gas, Nerve Gas, Conflatulations to You, Bachelor oFarts, Breaking Wind, Brain Farts, and The Best Of Fart Logic Volumes I, II, and III) are the result of many years of practicing “ Psycho Fartology.” Dr. Wolfgang (German for the Latin Canis Lupis) has skillfully harnessed this science to produce these quirky, outrageously ridiculous passports for good mental health. They are guaranteed to be a cure for boredom, for killing time, and for expressing a thought not otherwise kosher or ethical.

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The Abandoned Home

A Sample Poem from THE POETRY OF FART LOGIC Book, “BRAIN FARTS” by Dr. Wolfgang…

Where are you Hutch, where are you Toni
Why aren’t you coming back anymore
I’m your home that’s sitting here waiting patiently
You’ve taken such good care of me heretofore

Last year Toni by medics you were carried away
Six months ago Hutch was taken never to return
For sixty years you were kind and within me stay
What happened to both of you, I need to learn

No one’s come around for nearly half a year
My floors are dirty and there’s weeds everywhere
There’s but a few lights left that ever dimmer appear
And I’m being laughed at by looky-loos that stare

I’m feeling abandoned, like no one cares for me
And since I can’t move I can’t go looking for you
Where are you my friends, where is my family
Will I be torn down or with someone new

Who is it that is throwing rocks at me
And who is it that’s saying all those nasty things
Where are you Hutch and Toni, can you hear my plea
Where are you, to whom my existence clings

And what is that, creeping all over me
And who is it that is trying to break in
From weeds and brambles I wish to be free
Oh, Hutch and Toni where are you, where have you been

Soon no one will recognize me and hear my cry
Is that my destiny for being faithful and true
I can feel the end coming, I fear my good bye
Oh help me Hutch and Toni, where are both of you

It’s been three years since someone walked through my door
My lights have long ago gone out and I’m falling apart
I’m rotting inside out, soon I’ll be no more
Help me someone please, please give me a new start.