Elevator Gas

Elevator Gas

Elevator Gas

THE POETRY OF FART LOGIC books (Barnyard Gas, “CS” [TOXIC] GAS, Elevator Gas, High Octane Gas, Laughing Gas, Legal Gas, Natural Gas, Nerve Gas, and Conflatulations to You) are the result of many years of practicing “ Psycho Fartology.” Dr. Wolfgang (German for the Latin Canis Lupis) has skillfully harnessed this science to produce these quirky, outrageously ridiculous passports for good mental health. They are guaranteed to be a cure for boredom, for killing time, and for expressing a thought not otherwise kosher or ethical.

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If My Neck Was Any Stiffer It Could Have Sex

A Sample Poem from THE POETRY OF FART LOGIC Book, “ELEVATOR GAS” by Dr. Wolfgang…

If my neck was any stiffer it could have sex
It gets this way with too much tension
I have so many issues, my life’s so complex
There’s too much to do, I can’t pay attention

There’s only so many hours in the day
During which I have to do what I have to do
Its work, work, work and no time to play
I’m like a puppet with whom everyone screw.

The worst tension come from not settling a case
Or dealing with facts that can’t be resolved
It’s lose ends and bad lawyers which tension embrace
They’re all at fault for how my stiff neck evolved.

I know exactly when a headache I’ll get
It’s the result of unresolved tension and stiff neck
The throbbing pains to my life are a threat
“Lawyering” is what make me an emotional wreck.