Legal Gas

Legal Gas

Legal Gas

THE POETRY OF FART LOGIC books (Barnyard Gas, “CS” [TOXIC] GAS, Elevator Gas, High Octane Gas, Laughing Gas, Legal Gas, Natural Gas, Nerve Gas, and Conflatulations to You) are the result of many years of practicing “ Psycho Fartology.” Dr. Wolfgang (German for the Latin Canis Lupis) has skillfully harnessed this science to produce these quirky, outrageously ridiculous passports for good mental health. They are guaranteed to be a cure for boredom, for killing time, and for expressing a thought not otherwise kosher or ethical.

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I Hate Her So Much I Changed My Name

A Sample Poem from THE POETRY OF FART LOGIC Book, “LEGAL GAS” by Dr. Wolfgang…

My divorce was the battle straight from hell
Because my wife became a lying bitch
There wasn’t a truthful thing she’d tell
As she from big to bigger lies switch

She hired herself the town’s best known whore
Who embellished on every lie she told
Just when I thought it would end there was more
She and her lawyer were brazen and bold.

My lawyer and I couldn’t reason with them
As my wife commenced to believe her lies
If lying had a prize, it’d be creme de la crème
She cost me a fortune, with her lying tries

In the beginning I just wanted out
I didn’t have bad negative feelings
But now I hate her, I’ll yell it out loud
And with her want no further dealings

I asked her to change her name from mine
For I disliked her dishonoring my name
But she refused, this conflicted swine
So I changed mine, we can both play the “I hate you” game.